Sunday, February 2, 2014

Try artybollocks!


Do you hate having to write your own artist statement? Try artybollocks!

Generate your own artist statement for free, and if you don't like it, generate another one. Feel free to use the statements with funding applications, exhibitions, curriculum vitae, websites, ...


And some more...!


Artist Certificate
If you're an artist and you sometimes feel like you are missing out by not having a certificate on the wall stating that you are a certified artist, then here is your answer. At the click of a button (and some help of a printer) you can now have your own personal Artist Certificate approved by the Artistic Practice Licensing Authority.
IN ORDER TO BE LICENSED, YOU MUST AGREE TO:
- At least occassionally produce works of art*.- Study learned treatises on 'real artists', their qualities, achievements, practices and heroic struggles, for the purpose of understanding how hopelessly short of their standards you fall.- Constantly question, to yourself and others, whether you and your work are good enough to ever be a proper artist.- Mutter under your breath at least daily that someone will expose you soon.- Cultivate brow-furrowing, chin-rubbing and other anxious mannerisms appropriate for artistic practice.
*Under exceptional circumstances the authority may accept 'talking about producing it a lot' or 'going to start it next week' as substitutes for this condition.
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